Artemis Fowl (2020)...

I was excited to see Artemis Fowl. I haven't read any of the books, but I am planning on reading them to my children. Irish author, Irish setting using Irish mythology. Sounds great. Well, I hope the books are better than this pile of crap. This was a truly awful movie, and I can only think that for Colin Farrell, Josh Gad, and Judi Dench, this was a paycheck and nothing more. The plot is barely comprehensible. There feels at times like huge sections were cut out. The acting is just awful. It feels like a bunch of kids reading from a page at times. Artemis Fowl is just unlikeable, and smug, and never do you feel like he's in any real danger or not in total control of the situation. The character of the Butler's neice was pointless. She had about 3 lines and basically made sandwiches for people in the movie. I'm assuming she has a bigger role in the book.

And let's not forget the great Judi Dench! Why oh why do they get British actors to play Irish roles? Yes, I know having her name will put bums on seats, but there's nothing worse than having a British actor playing stage Irish. When she emerged in a dramatic fashion from some spaceship thing and says 'top of the morning,' I was close to throwing my remote control at the screen. A note to film-makers, do not do this! Never!

And let's talk geography. Yes, the Hill of Tara is in the right location, but where did all the bushes and trees come from? Where's the big open plain gone? And then the fairies say the nearest human habitation is Fowl Manor, which they show on the coast, north of Dublin. What happened to all the people living in Meath? Was there a Meath genocide they neglected to tell us about? And why is Dunluce Castle (on the north coast by the way) suddenly on the east coast? It all makes no sense.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Legion rating: 4.16/10

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David Bowie: Space Oddity (1969)...

Like Bowie's first album, this really isn't sure what it wants to be. It's more rock 'n' roll than his first outing, but still lackluster overall. However, we do see some of his brilliance beginning to emerge in the song Space Oddity. This is possibly his most famous song, and it comes so early in his canon. It's whimsical otherworldliness makes it like a dream to listen to, and you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't know, and love, this song. Unfortunately, it's the first song on the album, and this is where it peaks. "Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed," "Letter to Hermione," and "Cygnet Committee" are all good songs, but the album goes a bit downhill from there. It's a listenable album, but certainly doesn't get the airtime that later albums get.

High Point: Space Oddity.

Low Point: An Occasional Dream.

Legion Rating: 6/10.

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The Beatles: Revolver (1966)...

Since childhood I have had a love/hate relationship with The Beatles. Growing up we were a Queen household, bordering on obsessive and when anyone would say The Beatles were the best band in the world I would argue vehemently that they were wrong. Queen were obviously the best band in the world. But the child grew and this year I have finally realised how good The Beatles were (still not Queen good). I see there as being two distinct eras of Beatles music, before Revolver, and Revolver and beyond. It is really on this album that they transformed from mainstream pop songs to something more, something experimental and wonderful. In a sense Revolver is like a transition album. We still hear classic pop like 'Got to Get You into My Life', but there's also the wonderful experimental songs such as 'Tomorrow Never Knows'. 'Eleanor Rigby' remains one of my favourite Beatles tracks, and 'Taxman' is a great tune (the bass was later used by The Jam for 'Start'). This is definitely one of their best albums in their catalog.

High Point: Tomorrow Never Knows.

Low Point: For No One.

Legion Rating: 6.78/10.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)...

This movie will always be special to me, so I'll have to try and not be bias. The build up to this movie was amazing. I wasn't born until after the original trilogy was complete, but they remain the best Star Wars movies to me as I grew up with them (well, some pretty crap versions recorded off the TV. I was about 15 when The Phantom Menace came out and I really got caught up in the hype for that. But this was different. This was being brought back to childhood in a way that the prequels never could. This was a return to Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C3PO, and R2D2. It was the promise of all these characters again, and ever since I heard this movie was being made, I was excited. When the 88 second trailer was released a full year before the film was released I cried the moment I saw the Millennium Falcon. Yes, that's right, I'm a big man baby! I must have watched it ever day until the next trailer came out, and then I cried again (come on, "Chewie, we're home." Who wouldn't shed a tear). I withdrew from the internet in the days surrounding its release to avoid any spoilers. The problem was that I wasn't going to get to see it until after Christmas and it was released on the 18th December. The reason we weren't going to see it was because we had two small children, and babysitters are precious and more-so around Christmas. Added to that is that it was our wedding anniversary and my wife informed that there was no chance in hell she was going to spend our anniversary in a galaxy far, far away. We had one night out without the kids and it was not for Star Wars. Now, she's as much as a nerd as I am and played this very, very well, because the anniversary came and so did two surprise tickets to the movie.

And I loved it. From the moment 'Lucasfilm' came onto the screen to very last roll of the credits. There is nothing quite like sitting in a darkened theater and seeing those magic words 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...' appear on screen. It sends chills up my spine. The Force Awakens really felt like Star Wars in a way that the prequels never quite captured. The return of more practical special effects really added a depth to the movie that CGI just doesn't capture. The Star Wars universe has a very lived in feel to it. You can easily imagine civilizations stretching back eons and TFA really captured that well.

The opening scene is one of the best in the entire Skywalker Saga. We catch a flickering look at the First Order stormtroopers, before we are taken to Jakku where we meet Poe Dameron receiving part of a map from the late-great Max von Sydow's character, that leads to the missing Luke Skywalker. The new droid addition, BB-8 informs them the First Order are on their way - and now it all kicks off. Now this film is now nearly 5 years old so I am not going to go into the depths of the plot, because you've probably all see it anyway...and if you haven't you don't want to be reading about the plot. Kylo Ren's introduction in this scene is amazing. He is menacing, we learn he is somebody of importance with a connection to an important family. We also see his power in managing to stop a blaster shot in mid air with the force. We also see Captain Phasma and see both her and Kylo's ruthlessness in slaughtering the villagers. This is also a good introduction to Finn who clearly has a problem with this mass murder.

Rey was an interesting character, if a little flat in comparison to the other new characters. I do agree that her instant ability with the force was just bad writing, there should have been a slower build up to this. She was instantly able to do things it takes others years to do. I get that she's powerful, and after the Rise of Skywalker, we know why, but it could have been handled better.

Now, the classic characters. They basically did a reset to Han and Chewie and we met them almost as they were in A New Hope. They're back to smuggling. Again this is just lazy writing and completely undoes the character development that had happened over the course of the original trilogy. However, I felt that Han's death at the hands of his son was handled well and was a very emotional scene. I really feel that Leia was wasted throughout this trilogy, but what could they have had her do in fairness? It's not like they could have had Carrie Fisher running around like a Jedi for all the films. The disappearance of Luke was a great way to move things forward and that end scene is again, one of the great Star Wars scenes.

Legion Rating: 8.5/10

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)...

Right, ok, this is awkward, I'm going to say something that will be unpopular. I liked the Last Jedi. Now, I'm not out to defend Disney, I don't think I'm what Robot Head on YouTube described as the perfect Disney consumer because I liked it. I did and I apologise profusely.

I recently re-watched the sequel trilogy (re-watching everything in lock-down), and it's been an interesting experience. When the Last Jedi came out in the cinema I saw it a few days after its release. So I went in aware that there was a huge discrepancy between the critic's reviews and the fan's reviews. But, I keep away from spoilers as much as possible, so I went in without any real knowledge of the plot. I enjoyed it at the time, but it was hard not to overthink it afterwards when I finally delved into the plethora of videos and reviews that picked the movie apart scene by scene. It's very easy to get drawn into the narrative that surrounds a movie, and this one dragged a lot of people along with it.

But, nearly 18 months later I returned to watch the film with all of the controversy that surrounded it largely gone from my mind. We sat down (we generally watch things as a family) and watched it, and I became totally engrossed in it. I think it actually works really well. On a surface level, the film is genuinely stunning to watch. It's visually amazing, and all credit to the people who designed these amazing worlds and creatures, because they created a beautiful movie. The film has a wonderful message of hope, about keeping going, saving the people you love, and keeping the spark alive. I thought it cleverly expanded the universe away from a few families to everyone. The boy at the end who shows a little force ability shows that the galaxy is more than we thought (and from a story telling point of view means that a lot more can be told), and the idea of Rey being nobody also did this (yes, I know JJ. came a long and wiped over that idea in The Rise of Skywalker).

Contrary to what a lot of reviewers thought I liked Luke's story-line. It was a tragedy. Here was someone who had freed the galaxy, avoided turning to the dark side, old and alone and living a hermit's life, cut off from the force. It was sad. I know people wanted Luke to wielding a lightsaber and have amazing force powers, but this wasn't his story. It was Rey's. story, it was about her struggle. Let's not forget, Star Wars can be very tragic. None of the characters live happily ever after, and Luke is no exception to this. I enjoyed his struggle against what everyone wanted him to be. I liked how he returned to the force and how we got little glimpses of his power. A lot of people tout Luke as the 'greatest Jedi of all time', but was he really? No, I don't think so. He didn't receive training until he was an adult. He only had a few days with Yoda in a swamp, and if it wasn't for his father, he would have died at the hands of the Emperor. He wasn't the greatest Jedi, but he was of the right character to do what was needed. His ark was one of redemption for abandoning his life, and for turning his back on Ben Solo who goes on to be Kylo Ren.

Kylo's ark was also very satisfying. The fallout of having killed his father, and his relationship with Snoke make for a complex character arc, as does his growing connection to Rey. The will-they-won't-they story has been done many, many times throughout cinema, but here it also developed our understanding of the force. Again and again I read infuriated comments about how the film doesn't understand the force, but the force is what the film makes it. Turns out, there was more to the force than we knew.

Snoke was another interesting character. I found him menacing, and intriguing, and a good follow up to the Emperor. To be honest I never really expected to learn his origin. In the original trilogy, we never learned anything about the Emperor's background. He walked on screen fully formed and we just accepted that. It's the same with Snoke. There has been about 30 years since Return of the Jedi so we can easily imagine someone else stepping into the Emperor's shoes. The decision to kill him mid-way through the second film in a trilogy was certainly a shocking twist, and a brave storytelling decision, but it allowed Kylo Ren to develop. And that throne room scene was visually stunning...even if the choreography wasn't up to scratch.

Now, on to the criticisms! Oh, did you think this was just a besotted fanboy review? No, I realise that this movie, and indeed any movie, isn't perfect. I do agree, in general, with the criticisms regarding Canto Bight. It didn't work. Yes, it made Finn realise that things aren't just black and white. I do think something the Disney era films have done well is make things a little less good guys v bad guys. Rogue One did this well also. Sometimes good guys do bad things (think Cassian Andor), and here the good guys buy from bad weapons dealers. I liked Benicio Del Toro's character, but he was wasted. I also think that this could have been a good place to write Lando Calrissian back into the story. He'd have been brilliant as a code-breaking gambler. 

I thought Rose was an interesting character. It gave us an insight into the consequences of Poe's actions, that real people died, and their loved ones now have to deal with that. She was also a good foil to Finn's black and white view of the galaxy. However, she was stuck in the Canto Bight story! But, she saves Finn, showing her selflessness. I think it would have been interesting to let Finn die at that point as his arc was basically complete.

Another issue I had was the Mary Poppins moment. To be honest, Leia was basically redundant in this film anyway. They had no story for her so they put her in a coma for the majority of the movie. I do feel that Carrie Fisher's performance was not great in the sequel trilogy (I still love Carria Fisher, however). But, the Mary Poppins moment was over the top and took me out of the movie and made me realise that I was really was watching a Disney movie. They could have had her end up in a coma without being able to fly through deep space. And don't get me started on them killing Admiral Ackbar!

Lastly, the humour spoiled some of the moments. Luke tossing the lightsaber over his shoulder ruined the moment. The end of The Force Awakens was a fantastic suspenseful moment with Rey holding out the saber to Luke who has been absent for years. It's also the saber that disappeared along with his hand in The Empire Strikes Back, it was Anakin's before his. This saber fought Obi Wan, killed younglings, and now it's tossed away for a cheap laugh. The audience has been waiting for two years to see this emotion filled moment fulfilled, and that's what we get. No! It didn't work for me. Also, the moment on Krate when the First Order fire on Luke and he emerges from the dust unscathed is a brilliant dramatic moment, but it's again ruined by a cheap laugh by having Luke brush the dust from his shoulder in a 'is that all you got' moment. It completely ruined a potentially brilliant moment. 

But, these are small complaints in an otherwise good movie. I thought it took brave decisions, and pushed things to a new level. It wasn't just a rehash, and fan service. It did something new, and that's what I want from Star Wars. I don't want the original trilogy again. If I want that I'll just watch the original trilogy.

Legion score: 8.17/10

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Should Roger Waters have access to the Pink Floyd website and social media channels...

So, it's not all reviews here, sometimes something will catch my eye and I'll write about it here. Roger Waters has recently posted a video to Facebook arguing that as he was a member of Pink Floyd his solo work should be mentioned and promoted on the Pink Floyd website and social media channels. You can watch the video below.

I'm going to agree with Roger here and say yes, he should be included on the website and social media accounts. My reason is that Pink Floyd is officially over, and has been since 2014. Therefore, anything now is a retrospective, of which Roger was a part. If Pink Floyd were still an active band, producing material, then yes, I would understand excluding the promotion of ex-members' solo work. But since its not, then a more retrospective approach should be taken. I'd like to see all of their work, past and present, promoted, right the way back to Syd Barrett. 

Plus, it has to be said, that the official Pink Floyd Facebook page has become a de facto David Gilmour and family promotion tool. David's wife, Polly Samson, seems to be shared more than anything Pink Floyd, and if its not her, then it's David, with the occasional mention of Nick Mason's Saucerful of Secrets project. They do share some interesting old concerts, posters and that type of thing, but Roger is curiously absent. I think he should be part of that. He was the dominating creative force in Pink Floyd throughout its golden age. He should be recognised. 

Sparks: A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip (2020)...

Well, considering my 'dad' taste in music, it's not often I will get to review a new album. And it doesn't get newer than this...our less than 48 hours! This is Sparks' 24th studio album, and Ron and Russel Mael never fail to impress. Something I love, as you will see across my reviews, are artists who continue to produce new music. I don't like when artists take the greatest hits route and just relive their old songs again and again. No, I like new! And Sparks are the masters of reinvention. They are now producing the best music of their career. Their 21st century period has been the most inventive of their 50 year spanning productivity. And to top it all off, they're very nice guys as well. I had the pleasure of seeing them play live a few years ago in Dublin on their 'Two Hands, One Mouth' tour and it was one of the best, funny shows I was ever at.

Now, to the new album. I have been following the build up to this album in Instagram and have loved the songs they're released so far, and album doesn't disappoint. Like most Sparks albums it's catchy from start to finish. It opens with the instantly likable 'All That' which starts as an acoustic number that build to a satisfying anthem-like conclusion. 'I'm Toast' is darker and heavier, but equally as engrossing. Every song builds on this strong start to a very solid ending to the album. The final four tracks of the album really round things off nicely, with 'iPhone' being my personal favourite of the entire album.

The only criticism I would offer if that the album is a tad too long, and seems to drag a little in the middle which is something I find with a lot of Sparks recent albums. I think that anything over 45 minutes is too long for an album (unless it's a double), and I think the album would have benefited from shaving 9 minutes from its 54 minutes runtime. But, don't take that as an indication that I didn't enjoy it. I've listened to it about 5 times in the last two days, and I think it will be at the top of my playlist for some time to come. I can't see anything else topping this album this year!


High Points: 'All That', 'I'm Toast', 'iPhone', and 'The Existential Threat.'

Low Points: 'Lawnmover' - this just didn't land with me.


Legion rating: A solid 6.29/10

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