I was excited to see Artemis Fowl. I haven't read any of the books, but I am planning on reading them to my children. Irish author, Irish setting using Irish mythology. Sounds great. Well, I hope the books are better than this pile of crap. This was a truly awful movie, and I can only think that for Colin Farrell, Josh Gad, and Judi Dench, this was a paycheck and nothing more. The plot is barely comprehensible. There feels at times like huge sections were cut out. The acting is just awful. It feels like a bunch of kids reading from a page at times. Artemis Fowl is just unlikeable, and smug, and never do you feel like he's in any real danger or not in total control of the situation. The character of the Butler's neice was pointless. She had about 3 lines and basically made sandwiches for people in the movie. I'm assuming she has a bigger role in the book.
And let's not forget the great Judi Dench! Why oh why do they get British actors to play Irish roles? Yes, I know having her name will put bums on seats, but there's nothing worse than having a British actor playing stage Irish. When she emerged in a dramatic fashion from some spaceship thing and says 'top of the morning,' I was close to throwing my remote control at the screen. A note to film-makers, do not do this! Never!
And let's talk geography. Yes, the Hill of Tara is in the right location, but where did all the bushes and trees come from? Where's the big open plain gone? And then the fairies say the nearest human habitation is Fowl Manor, which they show on the coast, north of Dublin. What happened to all the people living in Meath? Was there a Meath genocide they neglected to tell us about? And why is Dunluce Castle (on the north coast by the way) suddenly on the east coast? It all makes no sense.
Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
Legion rating: 4.16/10
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment