Artemis Fowl (2020)...

I was excited to see Artemis Fowl. I haven't read any of the books, but I am planning on reading them to my children. Irish author, Irish setting using Irish mythology. Sounds great. Well, I hope the books are better than this pile of crap. This was a truly awful movie, and I can only think that for Colin Farrell, Josh Gad, and Judi Dench, this was a paycheck and nothing more. The plot is barely comprehensible. There feels at times like huge sections were cut out. The acting is just awful. It feels like a bunch of kids reading from a page at times. Artemis Fowl is just unlikeable, and smug, and never do you feel like he's in any real danger or not in total control of the situation. The character of the Butler's neice was pointless. She had about 3 lines and basically made sandwiches for people in the movie. I'm assuming she has a bigger role in the book.

And let's not forget the great Judi Dench! Why oh why do they get British actors to play Irish roles? Yes, I know having her name will put bums on seats, but there's nothing worse than having a British actor playing stage Irish. When she emerged in a dramatic fashion from some spaceship thing and says 'top of the morning,' I was close to throwing my remote control at the screen. A note to film-makers, do not do this! Never!

And let's talk geography. Yes, the Hill of Tara is in the right location, but where did all the bushes and trees come from? Where's the big open plain gone? And then the fairies say the nearest human habitation is Fowl Manor, which they show on the coast, north of Dublin. What happened to all the people living in Meath? Was there a Meath genocide they neglected to tell us about? And why is Dunluce Castle (on the north coast by the way) suddenly on the east coast? It all makes no sense.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Legion rating: 4.16/10

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

David Bowie: Space Oddity (1969)...

Like Bowie's first album, this really isn't sure what it wants to be. It's more rock 'n' roll than his first outing, but still lackluster overall. However, we do see some of his brilliance beginning to emerge in the song Space Oddity. This is possibly his most famous song, and it comes so early in his canon. It's whimsical otherworldliness makes it like a dream to listen to, and you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't know, and love, this song. Unfortunately, it's the first song on the album, and this is where it peaks. "Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed," "Letter to Hermione," and "Cygnet Committee" are all good songs, but the album goes a bit downhill from there. It's a listenable album, but certainly doesn't get the airtime that later albums get.

High Point: Space Oddity.

Low Point: An Occasional Dream.

Legion Rating: 6/10.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Beatles: Revolver (1966)...

Since childhood I have had a love/hate relationship with The Beatles. Growing up we were a Queen household, bordering on obsessive and when anyone would say The Beatles were the best band in the world I would argue vehemently that they were wrong. Queen were obviously the best band in the world. But the child grew and this year I have finally realised how good The Beatles were (still not Queen good). I see there as being two distinct eras of Beatles music, before Revolver, and Revolver and beyond. It is really on this album that they transformed from mainstream pop songs to something more, something experimental and wonderful. In a sense Revolver is like a transition album. We still hear classic pop like 'Got to Get You into My Life', but there's also the wonderful experimental songs such as 'Tomorrow Never Knows'. 'Eleanor Rigby' remains one of my favourite Beatles tracks, and 'Taxman' is a great tune (the bass was later used by The Jam for 'Start'). This is definitely one of their best albums in their catalog.

High Point: Tomorrow Never Knows.

Low Point: For No One.

Legion Rating: 6.78/10.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)...

This movie will always be special to me, so I'll have to try and not be bias. The build up to this movie was amazing. I wasn't born until after the original trilogy was complete, but they remain the best Star Wars movies to me as I grew up with them (well, some pretty crap versions recorded off the TV. I was about 15 when The Phantom Menace came out and I really got caught up in the hype for that. But this was different. This was being brought back to childhood in a way that the prequels never could. This was a return to Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C3PO, and R2D2. It was the promise of all these characters again, and ever since I heard this movie was being made, I was excited. When the 88 second trailer was released a full year before the film was released I cried the moment I saw the Millennium Falcon. Yes, that's right, I'm a big man baby! I must have watched it ever day until the next trailer came out, and then I cried again (come on, "Chewie, we're home." Who wouldn't shed a tear). I withdrew from the internet in the days surrounding its release to avoid any spoilers. The problem was that I wasn't going to get to see it until after Christmas and it was released on the 18th December. The reason we weren't going to see it was because we had two small children, and babysitters are precious and more-so around Christmas. Added to that is that it was our wedding anniversary and my wife informed that there was no chance in hell she was going to spend our anniversary in a galaxy far, far away. We had one night out without the kids and it was not for Star Wars. Now, she's as much as a nerd as I am and played this very, very well, because the anniversary came and so did two surprise tickets to the movie.

And I loved it. From the moment 'Lucasfilm' came onto the screen to very last roll of the credits. There is nothing quite like sitting in a darkened theater and seeing those magic words 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...' appear on screen. It sends chills up my spine. The Force Awakens really felt like Star Wars in a way that the prequels never quite captured. The return of more practical special effects really added a depth to the movie that CGI just doesn't capture. The Star Wars universe has a very lived in feel to it. You can easily imagine civilizations stretching back eons and TFA really captured that well.

The opening scene is one of the best in the entire Skywalker Saga. We catch a flickering look at the First Order stormtroopers, before we are taken to Jakku where we meet Poe Dameron receiving part of a map from the late-great Max von Sydow's character, that leads to the missing Luke Skywalker. The new droid addition, BB-8 informs them the First Order are on their way - and now it all kicks off. Now this film is now nearly 5 years old so I am not going to go into the depths of the plot, because you've probably all see it anyway...and if you haven't you don't want to be reading about the plot. Kylo Ren's introduction in this scene is amazing. He is menacing, we learn he is somebody of importance with a connection to an important family. We also see his power in managing to stop a blaster shot in mid air with the force. We also see Captain Phasma and see both her and Kylo's ruthlessness in slaughtering the villagers. This is also a good introduction to Finn who clearly has a problem with this mass murder.

Rey was an interesting character, if a little flat in comparison to the other new characters. I do agree that her instant ability with the force was just bad writing, there should have been a slower build up to this. She was instantly able to do things it takes others years to do. I get that she's powerful, and after the Rise of Skywalker, we know why, but it could have been handled better.

Now, the classic characters. They basically did a reset to Han and Chewie and we met them almost as they were in A New Hope. They're back to smuggling. Again this is just lazy writing and completely undoes the character development that had happened over the course of the original trilogy. However, I felt that Han's death at the hands of his son was handled well and was a very emotional scene. I really feel that Leia was wasted throughout this trilogy, but what could they have had her do in fairness? It's not like they could have had Carrie Fisher running around like a Jedi for all the films. The disappearance of Luke was a great way to move things forward and that end scene is again, one of the great Star Wars scenes.

Legion Rating: 8.5/10